Holidays always make me feel like a loser.
It’s a time that I let the comparison crud creep into my heart more than others.
It’s all around me, in my face: the crafts, the traditions, the moms who make every day special (or so it seems).
It’s what I begin to rate my motherhood by.
Am I doing enough? Is it special enough, unique enough, healthy enough, elaborate enough, simple enough, spiritual enough, fun enough?
I make excuses in my head about why I can’t seem to get it right. I blame my lack of _____ on my limited resources, my meager gifts, my ample number of children, my bad health, my upbringing. I compare because I want to believe that I’m keeping up.
I compare because I want my work to be enough. I compare because I want to somehow prove to myself that I’m not a loser.
And then I remember.
I confidently cut the comparison crud and stop trying to prove what I am not and start rejoicing in what I am – a far bigger loser than I will ever believe that I am, with a far bigger Savior than I will ever comprehend.
So while I call myself a loser, He calls me beloved. While I fret about dying eggs and filling Easter baskets, He is pleased to pour out His mercy and kindness on one who has not once proven herself worthy. It is for this very reason of grace and mercy that He takes pleasure in proving Himself over and over.
It is for the losers that Christ came and lived the sinless life because we couldn’t get it together. That’s all of us. Not one of us has kept the perfect law; not one of us ever will. He knew this and willingly submitted Himself to the Father to take our place.
He quietly suffered the mocking, the spitting, the torture, the scathing, the whipping, the torn flesh, the unbearable pain, the spiked thorns, and the unthinkable separation from His perfect union with His Father; for me…for you.
As the darkness crept on, the relentless pain of separation continued tearing at His heart until the work was done. The final cry of “IT IS FINISHED!” was not a cry of death but a cry of life and freedom for all whom He shed His blood; a plea for us to stop trying to prove our worthiness because His gift of righteousness has made us worthy.
And if that wasn’t enough, He proved Himself by the resurrection. He fulfilled His promise and continues to pursue those whom He loves: us. He rose that we might be freed from wondering if what we’re doing is enough. He rose that we might have life—abundant life.
He died, was resurrected, and ascended so that He may reside in us by the Holy Spirit, bringing comfort to our thirsty souls and reorienting our wayward hearts that don’t always believe that the “It is finished!” is for us, the losers.
It is enough because He is enough.